Can We Be Real Friends?
-Homer Nievera

I always ask myself this question whenever I invite or get invited to be a friend with someone I’d “virtually” meet online. I have more than 600 friends in Facebook, more than 300 in Linkedin and a couple more in Friendster. I’d say, of almost 1,000 friends – social or professional – I have personally met only 100 of them. Is that a bad thing?

Technology has driven the way we communicate and associate with people. When what was supposed to create more time and space for us to be “free” has actually caused us to cram more things into our lives. Now, our lives are so cluttered that we don’t even have real time for real people.

Time is a valuable commodity. Sadly, it’s not renewable. We can’t even buy it. No matter how much money or connections we have, we simply can’t influence time. True to the old adage, time waits for no one. Thus, given just a few minutes to socialize, we meet, greet and keep our friends in online space. Then again, are they real friends?

We have used the online social and professional networks to connect and reconnect. We’ve found former classmates, officemates, friends, and maybe even lost loves. With photos and albums galore, we have found a way to share our lives to others. We have found virtual space to share our trials, triumphs, notes, journals, status, availability, ability, faith and hopes. These are the things that remind us of our needs as human beings.

I love coffee shops. They were made for personal conversations. They were created so we can just sit around, enjoy a cup of coffee and watch people and the world go by. Like the coffee that warms your lips, coffee shops make you feel the warmth of people around you. Friends that you make over a meal or a cup of coffee are seemingly for real. Yes, they can also break your heart. But they’re for real. What you see is what you get.

What about my online friends – are they for real, too? I’m talking about friends whom I have never personally met in my entire life. It’s either I invite them or they invite me. After which, I say a casual “hi” or greet them on their birthdays. I also comment on their notes, blogs, journals or status. I just want to somehow interact with them, even if it will only take me a few seconds or minutes of my time. As long as I have shared a bit of my time with them, I consider them as friends. Well, I am for real. I don’t really care if they aren’t.

Guess what? I have made some real friends online. I have even been invited to their birthdays, weddings and family gatherings. I’ve even godfathered some in their weddings and children’s Christenings.

Technology may have changed the way we interact with others today. What hasn’t changed is the need (read as: urge) to genuinely connect. Hopeful that every human being we meet online is the real deal, we’ll never stop connecting and reconnecting. We were wired to be social beings. That’s who we are. So, I guess it won’t really matter if my online friend is genuine as long as I know I am. That is my nature. Maybe even human nature. That is what really matters. I have a conscience. I have a heart. Most of all, I have a soul. Now that's for real.

KAPAYAPAAN noong wala pang KAUNLARAN
(excerpted from forwarded email posted supposedly by Arnold Clavio)

"Heto ang KAPAYAPAAN na alam natin, noong wala pang KAUNLARAN."

Si Nanay ay nasa bahay pag-uwi namin galing sa paaralan;
Walang mga bakod at gate ang magkakapit-bahay, kung meron, gumamela lang;
10 sentimos o diyes lang ang baon: singko sa umaga, singko sa hapon;
Merong free ang mga patpat ng ice drop: buko man o munggo.
Mataas ang paggalang sa mga guro at ang tawag sa kanila ay Maestro/a;
'Di binibili ang tubig, pwedeng maki-inom sa 'di mo kakilala.

Malaking bagay na ang pumunta sa ilog para mag-picnic, o kaya sa tumana;
Grabe na ang kaso pag napatawag ka sa principal's office o kaya malaking kahihiyan kapag bagsak ka sa exams;
Simple lang ang pangarap: makatapos, makapag-asawa, mapagtapos ang mga anak...
Pwedeng iwan ang sasakyan at ibilin sa hindi mo kakilala; wala namang lock ang mga jeep na Willy's noon.
Mayroon kaming mga laruan na gawa namin at hindi binili: trak-trakan (gawa sa Rosebowl ang katawan at Darigold na maliit ang mga gulong, "sketeng" (scooter) na bearing na maingay ang mga gulong at de-sinkong pako para sa preno;
patining na pinitpit na tansan lang na may 2 butas sa gitna para suotan ng sinulid (pwede pang makipag-lagutan) ; sumpak, pilatok, boca-boca, borador, atbp.
'Di nakikialam ang mga matanda sa mga laro ng mga bata: kasi laro nga iyon.

Maraming usong laro at maraming kasali: laste, gagamba, turumpo, tatsing ng lata, pera namin ay kaha ng Philip Morris, Malboro, Champion (kahon-kahon yon!)
May dagta ang dulo ng tinting na hawak mo para makahuli tutubi, nandadakma ka ng palakang tetot, pero ingat ka sa palakang saging dahil sa kulugo;
Butas na ang sakong ng Spartan mong tsinelas - suot mo pa rin;
Namumugalgal ang pundiya ng kansolsilyo mo kasi nakasalampak ka sa lupa.
Sa modernong buhay at sa lahat ng kasaganaan sa high technology.. . di ba minsan nangarap ka na rin... mas masaya noong araw! Sana pwedeng maibalik...

Takot tayo ngayon sa buhay.
Kasi maraming napapatay, nakikidnap, maraming addict at masasamang loob...
Noon takot lang tayo sa ating mga magulang at mga lolo at lola.
Pero ngayon, alam na natin na mahal pala nila tayo kayat ayaw tayong mapahamak o mapariwara...
Na una silang nasasaktan pag pinapalo nila tayo...

Balik tayo sa nakaraan kahit saglit...
Bago magkaroon ng Internet, computer, at cell phone.
Noong wala pang mga drugs at malls.
Bago pa nauso ang counter-strike at mga game boy.

Tayo noon... Doon...
Tinutukoy ko ang harang taga o tumbang preso kapag maliwanag ang buwan;
Ang pagtatakip mo ng mata pero nakasilip sa pagitan ng mga daliri pag nanonood ka ng nakakatakot sa "Mga Aninong Gumagalaw"
Unahan tayong sumagot sa Multiplication Table na kabisado natin, kasi wala namang calculator. Pag-akyat natin sa mga puno; pagkakabit ng kulambo, lundagan sa kama;
Pagtikwas o pagtitimba sa poso; pingga ang pang-igib ng lalake at may dikin naman ang ulo ng babae;
Inaasbaran ng mga suberbiyo;
Nginig na tayo pag lumabas na ang yantok-mindoro o buntot-page.
Nai-sako ka rin ba?
O kaya naglagay ka ba ng karton sa p'wet para hindi masakit ang tsinelas o sinturon?
Pamimili ng bato sa bigas;
tinda-tindahan na puro dahon naman;
bahay-bahayan na puro kahon;
naglako ka ba ng ice-candy o pandesal noong araw?
Karera sa takbuhan hanggang maubos ang hininga;
pagtawa hanggang sumakit ang tiyan;
Meron pa bang himbabao, kulitis at pongapong?
O kaya ng lukaok, susuwi at espada?

Susmaryosep ang nadidinig mo 'pag nagpapaligo ng bata...
Estigo santo kapag nagmamano.
Mapagod sa kakalaro, minsan mapalo;
matakot sa "berdugo" at sa "kapre;"
Tuwang-tuwa kami 'pag tinalo ang tinale ni Itay kasi may tinola!
'Yung crush mo?'
Pag recess: mamimili ka sa garapon ng tinapay - alembong, taeng-kabayo o biscocho?
Pwede ring ang sukli ay kending Vicks (meron pang libreng singsing) o kaya nougat o karamel; Kung gusto mo naman - pakumbo o kaya kariba, mas masaya kung inuyat; Puriko ang mantika, at mauling na ang mukha at ubos na ang hininga mo sa ihip kasi mahirap magpa-rikit ng apoy.

Madami pa...
Masarap ang kamatis na piniga sa kamay at lumabas sa pagitan ng daliri para sa sawsawan;
ang palutong 'pag isawsaw sa sukang may siling labuyo;
ang duhat kapag inalog sa asin;
ang isa-sang isubo ang daliri kasi puno na ng kanin...
Halo-halo: yelo, asukal at gatas lang ang sahog;
Sakang ang lakad mo at nakasaya ka kasi bagong tuli ka;
o naghahanap ka ng chalk kasi tinagusan ang palda mo sa eskwelahan.
Lipstick mo ay papel de hapon;
Labaha ang gamit para sa white-side-wall na gupit;
Naglululon ka ng banig pagkagising;
matigas na almirol ang mga punda at kumot;
madumi ang manggas ng damit mo kasi doon ka nagpapahid ng sipon, 'di ba?
Pwede rin sa laylayan...

May mga program kapag Lunes sa paaralan;
May pakiling kang dala kung Biyernes kasi magi-isis ka ng desk.
'Di ba masaya? Naalala mo pa ba?

Wala nang sasaya at gaganda pa sa panahon na yon...
Masaya noon at masaya pa rin tayo ngayon habang ina-alaala iyon...
'Di ba noon...Ang mga desisyon ay ginagawa sa awit na "sino ba sa dalawang ito? Ito ba o ito?" 'Pag ayaw ang resulta di ulitin: "sino ba sa dalawang ito? Ito ba o ito?"... Awit muna: Penpen de Serapen, de kutsilyo, de almasen. How how the carabao batuten...

Presidente ng klase ay ang pinakamagaling, hindi ang pinaka-mayaman;
Masaya na tayo basta sama-sama kahit hati-hati sa kokonti;
Nauubos ang oras natin sa pagku-kwentuhan, may oras tayo sa isa't-isa;
Naaasar ka kapag marami kang sunog sa sungka; kapag buro ka sa pitik-bulag o matagal ka nang taya sa holen.
'Yung matatandang kapatid ang pinaka-ayaw natin pero sila ang tinatawag natin pag napapa-trouble tayo.
'Di natutulog si Inay, nagbabantay 'pag may trangkaso tayo; meron tayong Skyflakes at Royal sa tabi.

Kung naaalaala mo ito...
nabuhay ka na sa KAPAYAPAAN!

Pustahan tayo, mga 'Igan, nakangiti ka pa rin, tulad ko! Posted by Arnold Clavio

On the Reproductive Health Bill No. 5043

(excerpted from Emil Jurado's column "To The Point")

There are fallacies being peddled by Rep. Edcel Lagman and his anti-life cohorts in the lower House in connection with the proposed Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008, which seems to be gaining ground in media.

Lagman and company deny that contraceptives are life-threatening and claim they are essential medicines, family friendly, and thus, would improve the Filipino quality of life.

Santa Banana, the Reproductive Health Bill would even go so far as mocking parents with fine and imprisonment in refusing to expose their children to mandatory “age-appropriate” reproductive health education starting Grade 5 outside the loving confines of home and family. That’s child abuse of the highest order!

Another brazen lie is that the use of condoms would prevent the spread of the AIDS-causing HIV virus, under the guise of “safe sex.” My gulay, even the Department of Health is now peddling the baloney that the nationwide use of condoms will prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.
There’s is empirical data that a prophylactic material, like a condom, as a means of preventing HIV/AIDS is not 100-percent foolproof. Thus, for the Health Department to promote the use of condoms could increase instead the incidence of the disease it is supposed to prevent.

This is, of course, outside the context of morality in the use of condoms, which is banned by the Catholic Church. Contraception is wrong not because the Church has banned it; the Church banned it because it is wrong. And insofar as Catholics are concerned, fidelity to the Church is fidelity to Christ, who founded the Church on a “rock” called Peter, the first Vicar of Christ on earth.

The idea of “safe sex” peddled by the reproductive health bill advocates is actually a copy from the West, thinking that if they use a condom, it would protect them from HIV/AIDS.
Not only is the idea of “safe sex” with the use of condoms an illusion. It also encourages us Filipinos to violate our norms and the promise to practice marital fidelity and chastity.
What is needed is for men and women to change their sexual behavior instead of relying on condoms to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

Liberal and non-Catholics will say that compliance with the doctrines and tenets of the Church would be a difficult thing to do. But that’s precisely the point. In marriage and raising a healthy family, there’s need for discipline. And that’s the spirit of Article II, Section 15 of the Constitution which provides that every citizen has the right to health, hence the state has the duty to protect the citizens against dangerous substances as provided for in Article XVI, Section 9.